Dreams vs. Cold sweat

“Last night I saw you in my dreams…now I can’t wait to go to sleep” – Kanye west

The closes I get to you is when I’m realms away in slobville, sound asleep. We venture through old memories we shared. We run into old faces of old places the old us used to love. We travel the world, realms, and where ever else my mind seems to strategically place us. But with just a faint call from my alarm or a bother in the bladder I’m yanked from my unconscious bliss…in a cold sweat. Dreaming of my loves make sleeping such a valuable time for me because each waking moment it feels like sleep is calling me to reunite again with all my loved ones

My grandfather passed a long time ago, which is why my memories with him are very few. But night after night it never fails cause when my eyes shut he is there. Showing me my roots through Thomasville and connecting me with family I had no idea existed. I tend to cry waking up because here and now I feel distant. From those who bare the same name as me, family. It gets even harder dream chasing with my granny. Last time I got to see her was a trip up to Alabama where she wasn’t doing so good. But in the realm of dreams she is still the same loving and caring women with a huge heart! I take flights with Stanley and just listen to bubba as he tells me “lil cuz keep ballin man”. I think of the worst decision of my life and that’s when I suddenly wake up…in a cold sweat

“Life is lived forward, but understood backwards”

Every mistake I’ve made in life I can proudly say I’ve learned from. And most of all I fixed them to cancel the chance of repetition to happen. But as a mature young adult I know that doesn’t whip out uncertainty in others on my ability. I feel the unconscious self sometimes even reminds me as well. In my dreams is where I can finally get closer to you. Yes you the girl then women now I said “forever” to. Miles away, but with a hit of zzzquil I’m right next to you. Visiting the pass where I was immature and didn’t see what blessing God had given me. Running into my mistakes and seeing the whole like a bad Scrooge dream. Then we take off to the future where nothing seems impossible. The little home we built on the beach with no ac or tv in Guatemala. Or just the simple nights which send chills down my spin. Where you just come thru we eat and go to sleep. Like we recharge our batteries through a unconscious channel of emotion and thought. And even while I am asleep dreaming of you being asleep next to me we are dreaming of Paris. Member Our plans for Paris don’t you? Or has that to faded? These thoughts wake me…in a cold sweat

I dream of my future. What a scary/beautiful place filled with endless possibilities. Every night it’s a look into my self to do what I vowed myself I’d always live by “be phenomenal or be forgotten”. But dreams are just dreams if no work is applied and sleep is the cousin of death and they aren’t that distant as we may want to believe. By all means dream, but be ready for the cold sweat.

Dreams vs. cold sweat (reality)

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